I've tried a self assessment tool which put me at about 5.5 which puts me at about 50/50 - which, duh I already know. T knows (it kind of slipped out at the end of session...) and is a little worried, enough to have me promise to contact her but not enough to commit me (and I think I agree with this decision because that would totally ruin our relationship as right now i'm very honest with her and never EVER break promises). What I don't know, is how serious I am? I just really don't know. It's like i'm still making the decision. I said I would stop reaching out because ultimately, i'm the only one to make that decision. That action, scares me, because I can see i'm pulling away. At the same time, the fact that there is some part of me that doesn't want to encourages me that maybe I don't. I just feel tired honestly. And I don't even know myself how serious I am. How do you evaluate this?