My last session is Dec 1 and I've been recently assessing what was accomplished and I don't feel any real progress was made towards my recovery. I feel worse now then when I started therapy, because now I have to deal with c-ptsd that started in January. I started my therapy by getting suicidal and ending up in the hospital for 2 weeks. That was last November. In January, I started presenting with c-ptsd and had severe attachment issues and separation anxiety with my T. The sep anxiety was somewhat dealt with in the spring because I started to trust my T a little more.

Since November 2013, I've had: 3 visits to the mental health crisis center, one hospital stay for a near suicide attempt, experienced emotional torture from abandonment issues with T, started experiencing flashbacks, etc. from c-ptsd, unrelenting depression and three 5-day stays in a MH respite center. I started to remember the horrible things my mother did to me when I was home alone with her until I was five and only recently remembered I was molested by a friend's relative when I was six. I don't have the strength to deal with the sexual abuse. Basically, we've spent the whole year trying to get me stable and adjusting my meds. The drugs are now keeping my head above water but that's it. Seems like once my T saw the meds were kicking in, he took that opportunity to end our sessions.

I'm still depressed and I'm hurt my T had to pull the plug. I don't think much can be accomplished in 5 more sessions. Since telling me it's over, my flashbacks, memories, etc. have stopped because I don't feel safe with him anymore. I'm only going to the last few sessions because I still have trouble being away from my T, which means the separation anxiety is still there but just not as bad. I'm still depressed, not sleeping great, have anxiety, and on the verge of tears as I type this. I have no motivation to do anything I used to enjoy. I tried forcing myself but that makes me even more frustrated. I also still can't work because I'm too messed up and don't want to be around people. I have one friend I talk to now and then, but don't burden her much. Other than that, I have nobody but my husband to lean on and he can only take so much, so I 've backed off. I basically had only my T to talk to.

I did everything I could to get myself better. I researched my problems. Used this forum. I learned CBT and DBT. I used my treadmill daily (no motivation to do that anymore). I was able to keep my marriage from falling apart

I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted. Deep down I feel this is not going to end well.