I'm here because of a situation that occurred several years ago and I'm really needing and wanting to find a positive way to move forward or deal with things in a more effective manner.

I have a twin sister. We used to be best friends, we used to do everything together, we have kids that are very close in age. Several years ago her daughter and my daughter had a disagreement. I stupid argument. The reaction my sister had stunned me and has hurt me tremendously. I haven't been able to find resolution.

In defending her daughter, my sister came to my house and confronted my daughter without me being present. She was totally out of control, yelling, cursing, getting into my daughter's face. My 18 year old son had to step in between them at one point and she pushed him to the ground. My youngest daughter was crying and called me. I rushed home. I was confronted with more belligerent behavior, name calling and in the face yelling. I stayed calm and gave no reaction, just let her rant and rave, keeping myself between her and my kids. I finally had enough and asked her to leave. The following year the girls got into another disagreement (teenage drama) and she took it to the next level trying to get my daughter expelled from school. She wouldn't speak to me about anything. The school found no reason to expel or suspend my daughter, it was a family disagreement.

To this day, she continues to call me and my daughter names, insinuates that I am a bad mother, she tells me her actions were justified and she's not sorry.

The behavior she displayed and continues to display goes against every family value we were taught.

My family hates confrontation. They would rather dismiss her behavior and allow her to treat me that way then to tell her she acted inappropriate and to quit acting and treating me badly.

Is it to much to expect her to own up to her behavior and apologize?

I've tried putting myself in her place and I know I would have handled things differently. I'm a much more calm person. Although she is my twin, we have completely different personalities. I believe she likes the drama and any attention or response she gets from me seems to encourage the behavior.

My hope is to find positive solutions to this problem. Any input, similar cases or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I wanted to re-write my first few posts together so that the whole story was in one place. I appreciate the feed back I have gotten so far. Let me know if it changes with these additional details.