Thanks Bluegrey. Canada's mental health system is a shambles. I've been going through this broken system for years and falling through the cracks at every turn.

I was only allowed 6 sessions, but my T extended that for as long as he could to get me stable. He suggested some 5 week band-aid program that gets 400 referrals a year and only accommodates the worst 15 of those. So my odds are slim to known getting into that. I'm surviving because I have good partner and a good intellect. If I were single and we had American gun laws, I don't think I would have made it this far.

I have no money or insurance for further help. You may get help if you're severely suicidal but that's not guaranteed. I was sent home suicidal a couple of times. I don't think I'll ever kill myself, but I don't want to live in pain for the rest of my life either.