By the way, please could you tell me what it does indicate exactly - I'd like to see it put into words. He wanted me to come and live with him, but he warned me that he is difficult to live with - he DID warn me beforehand and I said I could deal with it. He said he needed me ... and all that.

He is very affectionate when he can be, when he's not tired and stressed.

MIXED MESSAGES !

And he's not taking any meds for it.
He's agreed to get some treatment and has already made a start, thanks to my perseverance. that's why I don't really want to give up on him.

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• He never says he loves me, only when I ask him.
• Spends hours at his computer while I wait for some kind of connection.
• If I ask to hold his hand sometimes he shoos me away.
• Turns his back on me in bed.
• Says I should never ask him for any kind of help - I should "find my own way" - even if it is asking advice.
• Practical help such as car lifts (a very short distance) when I have a music gig, I have to pay for.
• Now I have discovered him visiting and participating in dating sites. Spends hours on Facebook and leaves me lonely. Says he arrived on the page accidentally but then admitted to chatting to single women much younger than me.
• Can only have quick sex and doesn't really want to "make love" like he used to. It used to be full of passion.
• I go away for 4 days to work and come back to 4 days of dirty dishes, yet I can't ask him for advice without being told I shouldn't bother him.

What's going on - can anyone tell me ?

I thought he was ill, now I'm not so sure it isn't illness / hate of women (or me) or both. Does anyone know why he does these things - can anyone relate.

It has become a toxic relationship for me.
I think I have to go - it will break my heart.