Given your description of her behavior, the last thing I would expect would be an apology. I don't think one is forthcoming, even if it is deserved.

I'm sorry you're in this situation -- I don't see any easy answers. What you are doing, keeping distant and not putting up with her lousy behavior, keeping her away from your kids - that sounds good to me. If your daughter weren't involved, it might be easier to let her slide, but I don't see how you can do that.

In the initial conflict between your daughter and her daughter, who was in the right, objectively?