My father is 70 years old. I am 19 years old. Can you see where this is going to end already?

My father can't decide whether to treat me as a child or an adult. He refuses to show me any respect as a human being or as his child but demands respect in return. I understand where I ****ed up in our relationship but he refuses to see how he messed up in raising me and teaching me how to be a sensible adult blaming solely my mother for not raising me right. My boyfriend of 3 years has taught me more about being a mature adult who can take care of herself than either of my parents combined. I raised myself and I don't necessarily want a relationship with either of my parents but I am forced to because of my situation. I consider myself to be very reasonable and am willing to sit down and talk without swearing or yelling but can't have that behavior reciprocated.

Let's just say, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he was proud of me before my father or my mother.

How do I have a civil conversation with someone who can't see me as a person who he can talk to without deciding I have to do it or see it one way because I am his child and I have to do what he says just because.

I really need some advice from some level headed people who can see my situation. Maybe I could even explain this to my father which I have attempted to many times but won't listen. Maybe with the right words, he might listen to the conversation in a whole instead of the words and meanings he wants to hear.