My brother and I own a small business started by my deceased father. I came home to help in the family business, partly because I wanted to support my brother. My father was always hard on my brother while he was alive.

My brother might be mildly autistic. He is smart and very persistent and can fix almost anything, but sometimes I feel like he isn't even a human being - more like a robot that keeps doing the same thing no matter what. It's not like he is trying to be stubborn, but he just can only do what he does.

Everybody takes advantage of my brother - wife, in-laws, friends, employees. I'm his business partner, so indirectly they all take advantage of me. I try not to take advantage of him, but I am always angry, disrespectful, and frustrated with him.

I don't understand it, but over the past 15 years together I have reached the point where just seeing his face makes me furious. I tell him to stay away from me. He keeps acting like nothing is wrong between us. Then when I inevitably lose my temper with him, I feel rotten about myself. Often I fantasize about suicide. I want to build a separate office, so we don't cross paths so often. He doesn't say no, but doesn't let it happen.

Hopefully I can find a way to accept the situation. There is no way for me to change the situation, because my brother is like a robot. He is very selfless and kind, so I need to stop being so angry.

My mother said my brother was very stubborn as a toddler and sometimes she felt like she became somewhat physically abusive out of frustration.

My parents were both normal. My father probably had psychological issues due to my grandfather's alcoholism and lots of other family nonsense. They had lost wealth in the depression. There was a belief that being pleased or satisfied was equivalent to accepting failure. (I absorbed that thinking too unfortunately.) I think it caused people in our family to be critical of not being as successful as we were supposed to be.

Thanks, I hope I can figure out a solution. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing more harm than good to my brother. I hate being so nasty to him all the time. I don't think my brother can change, but hopefully I can learn how to overcome these feelings.