So we tried to enroll my son in to school only to be told he's be held back two years. So yeah, no thanks we'll continue homeschooling. We didn't want him to go for the education just to learn the culture as it's so different then WV and make a few friends. We we're hoping to be able to get settled, both physically and mentally. I was hoping my husband and I would have time to fix the horrible "semi-delusional" mess I made this summer as well as maybe do partial hospitalization. Yes those words did come out of my mouth.

He's becoming more/less easier to handle. He's grown up to be very polite and good natures but he's taller then me and his mood disorder is going to get worse as he gets older. I just learned his best friend, a kid that was at my house day and night, developed paranoid schizophrenia over the summer. I'm trying to help his mom through it best I can. So it kinda sucks that I know puberty is hitting and we are not prepared. Not that anyone's prepared but we had a trusted team to help us through all this crazy extra crap.

We changed everything so his doctors appointments wouldn't interfere with school. We had decided it's best the school not know of most of his health issues. So now our intakes that should have happened a month or so ago doesn't take place until the 23rd, 28th, and 30th. Since we didn't want the psych stuff to interfere with school the "new-new-new place" is a close proximity to our home which takes a lot of the privacy away.

I was looking forward to the few hours a day to collect/repair myself. Having him meet others that he wouldn't otherwise, get to know the hang out area's, bad area's just general teen-ish stuff. They've already kicked him out of the teen area at the library for not being 13. So that doesn't help. This was a new start for him and us and it's being ruined.

I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to rebuild my once happily ever after marriage especially with our son around. I still have no one I trust, I'm still sick as are they. This move has been the move from hell, it's not letting up. I know I need help to deal with... EVERYTHING.... If not for the fact I know I wouldn't servive another winter I'd think this was the worst decision of my life but they need me and we all needed a new start.

Any Idea's on how to fix this mess that I can't even word? This would be so much better /easier if I had trust in my husband. The worse part is he should have the residual effects not me. I was the one that went crazy. I'm scared that this can't be fixed and I'll never trust anyone again.