I know what you mean about the indirect postings. The kind that don't name any names, but word choices are made that are directly linked to one person, and it's passive aggressive.
Your bf sounds direct, your army man sounds indirect.
When I once asked my T what the description manipulative meant, one point was that manipulation is indirect, spinning circles to meet an internal means.

Seems like this army guy is absorbing oodles of your thought processes. He sounds like he has become a big priority. If he's unclear about his motives, can chalking this experience up to him having unclear methods of communication and you deserve better be an option?

Who's to say sex was the only inner purpose? Trying to read his mind is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.

Is being desired sexually something that's missing from your relationship with your current bf?
Gotta admit it's an ego boost,isn't it?