I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to understand that pain.

I do not have crippiling paranoia but when I feel fear, I tell myself I'm paranoid. (hmm I think i just realized that does nothing for my fight.) It keeps me from acting paranoid. I settled it in my mind because there is nothing I could do to prevent fear from coming true.

I talk about my paranoia when something hits me wrong. I might be paranoid but it doesn't prove me wrong. We consider it a safety reminder but if i started to fear others or it prevented me from driving~ i would get counseling. I enjoy driving too much and I think it gets easier to deny ourselves the second time. Sometimes, the joys are harder to hold on to.

I wish i had some words of wisdom but all I have it a little bit of paranoia from a tragedy in life. I hope you have a good support system.