Thanks everyone. I actually went to see T and told her even more about my concerns, and I broke down and just sobbed this time talking to her about it. And good and bad came out of that. We resolved our issue.. She was finally gentle. She sat with me as I just sobbed and she didn't fight with me, but we just sat together in the sadness.

As my sadness dissipated, she said she had to tell me something. She just found out that her husband got a job across the country. She is closing her practice.

Sigh.

So, we resolved our issue, but it's still time for me to find a new T. I feel shaky and unstable about the whole thing, fearing that I'm on the edge of breaking down if just one more thing becomes uncertain in my life. At the same time, I'm so glad T and I are ok. And there is a kind of excitement about what it might be like to work with someone new.

While there are positives, today I mostly feel devastated at the loss, and fearful for my mental health in the transition process. Feeling really scared right now.