((((((((((((((( rayna )))))))))))))))))

Your father was in the wrong. He was in the wrong because he's not plugged into a child in need. I'm so sorry.

I have two grown daughters and the youngest was just starting her new life...strong and independent, then BOOM. You know the story... I could limit myself to my daughter, demanding she can do more than she can, etc., if I chose not to see how in need she really is. Your father is choosing not to see what he simply doesn't want to see, OR can't see. I don't want to diss him. I don't know him. It could be that he's not seeing it because so much is going on in his own life that he can't...I just don't know.

Can you do what you can to help him see? Then you'll know that you did all you could as the adult child? A long letter would be a great place to start...no argument, words going back and forth, defensiveness, etc. Had I known where my father was, I would have sent a letter...Lord only knows I wrote many...

I can say that my daughter gets really ticked at her daddy because he "just don't get it". I explain to her that *some* men respond differently to problems and crisis...those they can't find solution for and fix, they tend to "set aside" and not "see". Her father is solution oriented. If he can't see a solution to something, he works around it as much as he can. Of course, with alot of medical, mental and emotional problems he can't see a solution. He either gives the short, "buck up; it's not that bad." or doesn't respond at all other than a hug or pat.

I know you're pain with your dad. You're not alone.

KD