Quote:
Originally Posted by hannabee
I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope things turn around for you. Personally, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of offing myself! What a creep! He was no man to do that to you after 28 years of marriage. I can only suppose there was another woman and that probably feels horrible, but try to remember there is something wrong with him, you couldn't have changed anything. $1500 a month doesn't sound like much in this day and age, can you find something to supplement your income? Bury yourself in something OTHER than thoughts of him and the past. Big hug for you, wish I could be of more help.
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If at least there were another woman, I would have had much more leverage during the divorce: I would have gotten (sp?) EVERYTHING (house, car, retirement fund...). Since I couldn't prove that he was in another relationship (a lot of other people suggested the same but, really, he's not the type...) here I am, deep in the sense of having lost everything: my self esteem, my identity, my professional and social standings, my financial security, my family... and so on. I have the feeling of utterly loss because I have very few friends and only my three adult children here in the States, the rest of my family (parents, brother, aunts and uncles, cousins) are abroad so I think this makes the situation more poignant. And of course, having had my ex- telling me that he always suffered being together, only adds to the disconcert and sense of despair... My psychiatrist and my therapist couldn't believe it when I told them that he had told me he was always unhappy/ suffering in the relationship... they were flabbergasted! When I told one of my good my neighbors, she practically laughed and tried to reassure me telling ''Don't worry, it's all in his mind''. But all of these is poor consolation for the way he handled things during the proposals phase before going to the final hearing, and then during the hearing: I couldn't believe what I was hearing and seeing! He was waving copies of pictures before the judge and claiming that he didn't get what he asked from the house... when more than five month before during a conference settlement at my lawyer's office he made VERY CLEAR that he didn't want anything from the house contents. At some point I got to think that he wasn't ready to let it go and that's why during the proposals and counter proposals he kept asking for the contents or for compensation ($20.000!!!); in view of this, my lawyer asked me if all the house contents were to be sold, how much I thought I could get... I told her very clearly that I didn't think I could get more than $5.000! But what pains me most is his disdain, his utterly scorn for me as a person refusing time and again to meet me only to talk...
Well, I went further a lot in this answer... Anyway, I appreciate your comment and support.