Quote:
Originally Posted by ifst5
But getting help means taking responsibility? I don't think people have to put up with anything they don't want to - we're talking about adults here. If the treatment of the OP towards this person was that bad there are plenty of things they could do about it - no longer associating with those they don't wish too is one of them.
I'm really not sure how people are unable to understand this - yes it's a terrible thing when we're treated badly but why must we assume we're powerless? I've experienced this personally - I was abused by my mother and brother, so I decided to move out and associated less with them. Our relationships are now fine. But instead of sitting there going woe is me i did something about it and gained a solution. This is the responsibility of adult life and the OP's situation relates to an adult problem. They've mentioned nothing about this other person being vulnerable or incapable of self sufficiency. If we just expected other people to always rush to our aid and fight our own battles i'm pretty sure the world wouldn't function as it does.
I really can't explain my point any clearer...nor do i intend to for a third time. I continue to wish the OP well in stopping behaviour that they find undesirable.
|
Well cutting family out of ones life can be easier said than done, the OP says they are this persons sister...so that is going to complicate things. One does not always have the option to simply not ever deal with people who don't treat them well even adults.....what about various employees with an ***** of a boss who aren't in a position to quit or they'd lose their house for instance?
Also I never said people should 'assume' they are powerless, especially if they aren't in that situation...but if someone does something to them that effects them negatively they shouldn't be beating themselves up over it since they cannot control other peoples actions. And its good you had the option to move out, I am sure there quite a few people who would move out of situations like that if they could. Sure fighting ones own battles is good, but sometimes people need help with those, I see nothing wrong with that....not to mention I hate how the world functions, so wouldn't bother me if it stopped functioning the way it does and improves. I get your point I just disagree with some of it I guess....people are too stuck on 'self sufficiency and act like needing help, helping others or encouraging group effort and treating each other with respect and kindness in society is a shameful thing its ridiculous. But yeah even as an adult I think if someone where to harrass or harm me in some way its effect on me is not something I need to be taking responsibility for as it doesn't have to do with wrong action/ill intentions on my part....now if I start crap and someone reacts accordingly that's different but i don't go around trying to cause trouble anyways.