it sounds all great when I read what I wrote here about what I do…
partys, concerts, hanging out…

there are many good things. but it's not that simple. I don't want to start listing the bad parts. that may not be helpful for my mood.
just believe me, they exist and they cause me to be depressed despite all these good things. just those two everybody already knows: no regular job, no close relationships. those two weigh heavily and there is more.