Yes, exactly. That is what I have started trying to do. I did all of this almost to fit in, so that I can at least seem like I am like a normal human with emotions.

Can you imagine if people saw the real, primitive me with my two primeval feelings - lust and rage? They would all ignore me. Well, they actually do that already to be honest. I guess you can't fake emotion, you either feel it or you don't (my case).