Yes, that is true what you say! Thank you . I also try to remember what a certain feeling felt like. I know in my past for example I used to love my work, my academics at university and school. I can't even remember how that felt anymore . Yes, and also the fear of death. I am totally unafraid of it. But, when I was a child, I was scared of dying! I was scared of snakes and spiders and stuff that are poisonous and can kill you. Now, it is almost like dying is totally OK, and I won't mind experiencing it .

I have an incomplete "set" of feelings in comparison with normal people. I feel only negative things. I feel one positive thing only and that is the pleasure I speak of - eating and sex. It is a primitive positive feeling, like a nice rush almost, nothing more, I can't even put a name to it. Other than that all I feel is negative things - aggression and loss. That is why I say, I don't know the feelings. So, like with the girl I spoke of, I feel loss now that she is gone, there is a "hole/void" in my heart. So all I can conclude is that she must have filled it somehow. What that feeling's name is I have no idea. I also did not feel it when it was there! It is when it is gone I can only sense it's absence . OK, I study geology at university. It is like this. When you go into the field and look at rocks there is a place where you can see all the stuff on top of the rock is eroded away. All you know is there was something above it. But, that information is gone because it is not there in place any more for you to see it in the rock. You cannot predict how much or what type of rocks it was that was lying there on top of that rock and erosion surface you are now looking at. It can be any rock - sandstone, shale - you will never know - it is gone and is lying somewhere in the form of sand and clay in a river bed. All you know is, there was rocks above it that is now eroded away. I have the same problem with my feelings .