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Originally Posted by anothercliché
Two weeks ago I got the news that my Grandmother had died. She was 78, and passed away in her room while eating fruit. She didn't admit it, but I was clearly her favorite. She always begged to spend time with me, she always moved heaven and earth to make me the happiest, and even as her mental state deteriorated she always remembered my name. When I got the news I was shocked, but as time went on... I felt nothing else. No sadness, no sorrow, no grief, no bitterness, not even hollowness. I felt fine, and that started to make me angry. Not angry at her death, but angry at myself for being so nonchalant about the whole thing. I went to her funeral service and just felt... fine. No tears, no remorse, not even a waiver in my voice. It's true that due to the distance in physical land that separated us that I hadn't spoken to her in three months, and prior to that one year, but she was such an integral part of my childhood and development that I am angry at myself for not being shaken up about this, and no matter how hard I try I'm still content knowing that she's dead. And that's when I even think about her, which really ian't all that common even after a mere two weeks. Is this some part of the grieving process that I'm unaware of?
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Hello anothercliché: Well... I'm certainly no expert on the grieving process. I grew up in a very elderly family. And, as a result, I spent a good share of my young life going to one funeral after another as my relatives all died off one-at-a-time. I never really grieved for any of them. They were old. They had lived good long lives. And death is something that comes to us all sooner or later.
Different people react to death in different ways. Perhaps you're just not a person who is particularly affected by it. Or, on the other hand, perhaps it is the understanding your grandmother lived a good long life that makes it less traumatic for you that she has passed. It is also possible your reaction is just delayed. You may find that, at some point later on, you may unexpectedly develop sadness with regard to your grandmother's passing. The important thing here, from my perspective, is simply that you accept whatever you are or are not feeling at the present time as being okay. It's okay for you because it's how you feel. Best wishes...
