i just don't know what to do... i started university (im in commerce) and my marks are looking really bad.

- i failed my econ midterm with a 46.7% (i studied so much! i went to econ help when i needed it and everything yet i failed! my prof made the midterm really hard but all the people i talked to all managed to get ~70% and then there's me all stupid)
- i got a 62.5% on my gerontology midterm (i studied SO much! i thought the midterm was super easy so seeing this mark was a heartbreaker... im gonna talk to my professor about this...)
- 76% for anthropology (i thought this midterm was fairly easy... but i wanted at least an 80% on this midterm because my essays are absolutely terrible!)
- 94% for music history (no complaints here)
- commerce=??? (i just had my midterm for commerce today and i have no idea how i did... no clue at all)

to pass first year i need a culmulative average of 63% and my average isn't looking that great. especially with my econ... but to get an interneship i need at least 70% (and i really need one because i have no experience whatsoever).

i don't know what i'm doing wrong. my friend in engineering sleeps about 8 hours everyday. i sleep ~3 hours because im studying day and night. and then i get bad marks on my midterms whereas my friend gets a 100% on her engineering calculus midterm and she studies an hour before. what am i doing wrong? im living off of coffee now cuz of my lack of sleep. ad no im not jealous of my friend. im proud of my friend gettig amazing marks; but it's more of me being the problem, why can't i do that? am i stupid? i think so...

im starting to feel really overwhelmed. i was supposed to be in this business competition but now i dropped that because im really scared about my marks.

to make life 100x better i have 4 FINAL exams within 3 frikken days! 2 exams on day 1 and another 2 on day 3. and they wont even change the dates. i posted anonymously on my univerisity's page asking how to deal with final exams like that and one of the replies was "Suicide is a viable alternative to writing exams". seems pretty accurate to me tbh.

next semester is gonna be even harder. i have accounting, organizational behaviour, economics and calculus. isn't my life just great? splendid...

before i started university my sister made a bet that i won't even last a semester... ahhhh

i just don't know how to deal with this anymore. all i want to do is cry and cry. today i was shaking while i was writing my commerce midterm. my chest felt empty/cold and i had an uneasy feeling in stomach (i still feel all this). i feel like im gonna puke. im loosing weight and i have a lack of appetite. all i want to do SI all the time (in different ways). ughhh... what should i do? im just so overwhelmed with my life.

...if i fail idk what i'll do with my life... my life will be completly over...

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im sorry about this super long rant but i seriously don't know what to do. im at the end of my rope.