I'm feeling like part of me doesnt want to carry on living anymore but other part is still trying to keep on even though things are challenging and feeling in despair. It feels too much to make things better for self. Things have gotten worse over the yrs for me. Im at an age where i think im missing out on so much. I dont feel im living real life. Im stuck in head a lot. I feel trapped in my illness and alone in what im going through.