I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. We started off great, and now it’s going downhill. We constantly argue. He keeps telling me it’s my fault, but I keep insisting it is not. I recently was diagnosed with anxiety and depression (some ocd). Before I met my boyfriend I was happy, and hanging out often with friends who I barely see now. In my point of view, he is the one who has the problems. He was physically and mentally abused as a child by his father. He and I have gotten in to arguments that ended in my punching him in the face for calling my friend a *****. He still brings it up to make me feel bad, but I was only defending my best friend. He has stopped trusting me because of a journal he read from when I was 16. (I’m 25 now). I was promiscuous at that age, and made mistakes I am not proud of but I had let them go and didn’t dwell. He brings them up often, and I am beaten down (mentally) because of my past. He says I am the problem but I don’t tell him he’s a piece of crap because of his father? He calls me names, like the b word, and other horrible names. Tells me to go find some guy he saw me talking with at work (I’m a server) and to go down on him in some car like I’ve done in the past. I have never cheated, nor thought of it but ever since he read that journal he hasn’t let it go.
We have fought so badly that he has destroyed my new Mazda I bought a few years ago.
I want to leave him but he lives with me and has nowhere to go. Then again I care for him and want us to work out. I know we could if he got help for his anger etc but he keeps telling me to find help and go take my drugs. He tells me to “stop going crazy” or calls me crazy.
Have you ever been stuck in a room with someone who wont let you leave and calls you awful names for hours? I have. I tell him to leave, I tell him I don’t love him, and I have called the cops. He cries and begs for forgiveness.
Maybe my disorder is making me let him stay? I just don’t know what to do. I try to force him out but he manipulates me to let him stay and controls my life.