I have finally moved out of my mother's... and the stress is getting more easily manageable.. yet, I still want to die. Why? Why can I not be sober for more than two to three days tops?.. I am falling so deep into this painful reality. I haven't posted on here in so long because I know no one cares. I am a selfish, undeserving, useless human being. All I can do is stay high or drunk or something to even get to sleep anymore.... its 6 am and I can not sleep. I would rather die than continue my useless path. I work my *** off, I'm trying to get another job. I still don't have my own car. My depression meds are wrecking my **** even more, I had to quit taking them... My twin flame abandoned me, and it has been a year and I still bleed for them... I just want to end it all.

I feel like cutting....because, **** it.. the booze and pain killers makes me numb