I'm so much worse today.

I think I jumped down an entire storey on the depression scale. just looked in the mirror and was outraged how I could ever think for only one minute I looked acceptable. my proportions are so absurd. no matter how little I eat I will always look fat. my face is weird and my hair is just disgusting.
and I don't even have an interesting job to balance that.

the only reason people might talk to me is because they are drunk.
I cannot see the future. or anything.
the only reason I am in this world is that my parents don't want me dead. at least I assume.

it's hitting me really hard today.