I have had this problem from both sides!

When I first met my boyfriend, he was out of work. Paid his share of the bills from savings, but fooled around all day. My work situation was much like yours, too many hours, uncertain job security, and some interpersonal issues that drove me mad. We theoretically took turns cooking, but it was maddening to come home after a horrible ten hour day to find him moaning about what was for dinner when he had been fooling around online all day.

He did actually change his behavior somewhat after we discussed this. I also think that the fact that I hated my job so much had a lot to do with the resentment I felt towards him.

Now *I* am the one sitting on my ***** all day and he is the one nagging me about getting a job, probably because he doesn't like me sitting around enjoying my freedom I try to pick up the slack and would never dream of not making dinner if he had to work late. OMG. I actually do all the cooking now and some of the dishwashing. I get annoyed if he starts to take all of the work I do around the house for granted -- it's not like he is paying my bills. Living in a situation where one person works and the other doesn't is extremely challenging, imo.

I do find that I have to remind myself that we have very different energy levels due to our situations. Like today, I am all raring to go do something fun with him, but he needs some downtime.

I know that we aren't seeing the full picture of your relationship in what you wrote, but this aspect of him is pretty bad. He does not sound supportive or caring. I still expect my boyfriend to do some chores, but he is not in a high stress/too many hour job right now -- when he was, I picked up the slack, no questions asked, because it was the right thing to do.

Assuming you don't want to just dump him (which I would be thinking about), here are some ideas:

What if you just ate out instead of cooking? You wouldn't have to do any dishes or any cooking. Sometimes life is just too crazy for that. If he doesn't want to pay for it, he can cook for himself and do his own dishes.

Just stop doing the dishes or picking up anything. Stop running errands. Tell him you are done with gardening while you are at your current job. The fish will probably live in a dirty tank. Stick to the bare essentials. If he says 'we need to do X now,' respond with 'okay, I am going to do Y.' Stop giving into his nagging and he will eventually learn that it is ineffective.