Oh boy! I never thought of asking myself why I am saying yes! That is a really good idea! It would never even occur to me to question the yes -- it seems like yes is the default and to say no is the aberration.

I find it grating at this point when people tell me how nice my mother is. Yes, she is, but she also isn't. Some people, like her children, have to pay for her niceness. No wonder I don't want to accept favors or help from anyone!

I just ordered the When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, the No More Christian Nice Girl, and another one that turned up in the list of suggestions, something about Boundaries. I'm up for anything that has good ideas as this behavior is extremely limiting at this point. I will let you know if they are worth reading