We all feel that independence is, fundamentally, a human impossibility.

You have demonstrated strength simply by acknowledging and expressing concern for your perceived "lack of freedom". Many do not even consider acknowledgement of their "lack of freedom" a possibility.

I can PROMISE you, my friend, that although you may feel passive, you are not - for you have recognised that natural passivity as an undesirable quality; and, unfortunately, pain often accompanies self-understanding.

Consequently, I would say that you are more proactive than most.

Hang in there, friend. You'll find the key to the exit eventually, as long as you keep your eyes open - even if it hurts. I promise you.