Hello, kns6, and welcome to Psych Central! It sounds to me like your M-I-L has some definite emotional issues. Gee, anyone who would sort of brag about not being close to her in laws......

Yes, it would make her very happy if you were to let her know how much she is getting to you. You made a big mistake in her mind: Marrying her son! Alas, it's my mother who is a pain in the rear to her sons-in-law. And she is mentally ill.

I suggest you talk to a therapist about the situation. I think your mother-in-law is likely playing into your insecurities and perhaps self-esteem. At least your hubby has tried to take up for you.

Here's a M-I-L joke that I try to remember sometimes:

Question: What's the definition of "mixed feelings"?

Answer: Your mother-in-law driving off a cliff in your new Cadillac!