Rustbeltroyalty thank you for your help! I'm sorry to hear you have lost so much. I lose jobs frequently, and going back to my last three job losses, they were right before I was brought down.
I always blame my episodes on my chaotic life and abusive past but being honest... Bad things happen when I'm feeling better too but for some reason sometimes I can cope and sometimes I can't.
I've also noticed my mental state changed, I kind of become a completely different person. One day I'm posting that I'm certain I am perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with me, a month later and I just have OCD, give it another month and its GAD, another month and its something else. But when I go into the next one I feel as if the last never happened. Like now, I admit to having OCD and possibly more, two months ago I swore there was no way, and this happens almost yearly cycles, like with the weather (but its not).
It really is frustrating. I just pray I never have another dark episode and can learn to manage my anger