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I'm so sad today. I've been unhappy all week. It's ruining my life. I've been having throwbacks of all these bad things that have been happening. I just want to be happy. I have so much going for me though! Graduating in May, going of to college... but what my mom did to me... the way she handled things. Those wounds will not heal. She might be the nicest person ever now, but that's not who I see when I look at her. I see a gross human being. And for that I'm probably facing an eternity in the darkest depths of ****. I'm so afraid of that. The Angels tell me I'm good and holy but why don't I feel like that? I'm so sad. One day I'm afraid I'm gonna break down crying again and I won't be able to stop. I talked to my therapist yesterday and left feeling worse than ever. We didn't talk about anything real productive and I was too afraid to bring anything up. How can I still be so unhappy?
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