I can relate.

I don't know how my husband deals with it.

If you have a partner that has no experience with mental illness they will all, at some point, say or think that you're not "trying" hard enough.
The things that we are going through, can never be fully explained.

I told my husband that I would not blame him at all if he just quit. There would be no anger from me because he also deserves better.
I don't feel guilt for what he's going through because I am not doing this DELIBERATELY. I do feel bad, however.

Bottom line is if they choose to stay, we're very lucky. If they choose to go, we have to accept it.