I've not had the blessings, support, and love of a good wife and children, and not been able to generate income of more than a couple of dollars an hour over minimum wage. Why do I have to continue to wake up, breathe precious oxygen, and consume needed resources that less fortunate people need? Why can't the big one finally hit me during the night? There is absolutely no reason that I should continue taking up needed space in this universe of living chaos.

No amount of meds, therapy, or positive thinking will ever change my way of thinking. Did my religious upbringing do this to me? Was it too many late night parties and rendevous? Was it a couple of severe bangs to head during childhood with no doctor care?

I lost my will to live many years ago. Nothing will ever bring it back. Why do I have to continue to exist?