your in the same boat as me ...........i lived in this boat now for almost 20 years

it comes down to a few things why
1 your not done yet something left for u to do (god's plan)
2 removing yourself from life alters the future .....the ppl u interact with u might not see the result but your action effect their life in someway ( i have lost count of the number of ppl i have helped )
3 u can think in ways that are strange to other ppl but to u it is normal thing........over the years in history great men/ladies have had something tweaked in their heads but because of that they could do think and change the world (they might of died in disgrace but time has fixed that)