That is the best description I can come up with. I sort of hate posting in this depression topic, it feels like swimming in a lake where everyone is drowning. So very many super depressed people. Not sure where I fit in but I am definitely depressed among other things.

My whole mind and body is damaged from long term klonopin use. I know I sound like a broken record, repeating myself over and over about this. It affects me every minute and hour of the day. The NON sleep I get. I go from being awake to asleep in a heart beat and never realize any in between which is weird. The non sleep is not very restful, I wake up feeling tired every single day since Feb of 2013! This is no way to live. People are tired of hearing about the whole withdrawal syndrome.

I have anxiety, social phobia, driving phobia, ringing in the ears, stomach pain, head pain, not headaches but my brain actually hurts. I have to massage my head all the time, very strange...nothing I have ever experienced. I have felt like banging my head against a wall or like even hitting myself in the head with a hammer! Never felt that before either. Anything to stop the throbbing in my brain. Creepy crawlies on the skin, like bugs are crawling on me at times. A lot of that on the face.

No doctor acknowledges the symptoms, talk about feeling hopeless. I am isolated, most of the time do not want to go out and be around people. I think they are looking at me strange and that I look hideous. Feel uncomfortable around others most of the time. Occasionally I do not feel that way and can go out and do my shopping. This is actually worse than when I felt seriously suicidal. I feel a lot of anger towards people a lot for no real reason.

My grown sons are not very supportive, cannot handle it when I cannot do something that they think I should. All I hear is that I should be exercising. Yeah, whatever. I have never felt so completely miserable in my own skin. Not sure how much more I can take of this. I was told it would be better at 2 years off the crap. That is not far off. I do feel hopeless much of the time. And angry that there is no help for this. I don't understand why a doctor would put anyone through this and then refuse to help! There is no help, believe me. I have checked every avenue. Even going back on a benzo is not an option. Truly it is a living hell. I am not going to die, I am just going to live like this forever. My friend here is going through the same exact thing, she said today that she would just like to put her head in an oven. What does that say?