Normally I have been able to separate my difficulties from my work/school life. There are times in which the depression has interfered and I've had to drop a class. Aside from that, school has always kept me grounded. I have always been very academic, and the thought of not going to school horrifies me. Being a T is my dream. It has been for years. When I am working with clients, even at the level I am at now, I completely transform. I am in my element. I get nervous that my junk will interfere with what I am trying to do. I have reason to. There was a time in which my panic attacks got so bad that I could barely do anything. It's hard not to dwell on that and be fearful it will happen again. I guess I have also kind of accepted who I am for the time being-- and whether or not that is going to change as a result of therapy, it is what it is for now. So I need to live besides that. My husband asked me today if I have any concerns, should I get accepted to doctoral school in the fall. My only concern is if I fall into a depression or a severe anxiety episode and that it would interfere with my work. The other stuff-- the disconnection, the hurt, the SI, whatever.... it exists, but I can work alongside of it. The depression and the anxiety interfere with my ability to work hard. And I hate that. Otherwise, I can't imagine what would stop me. There's me and there's doctoral school-- just because I am a bit of a mess doesn't mean the two of us won't get along swimmingly.