Crash burn explode brain busted. What if I just sleep and don't get up? I'm falling and no one can catch me. Pdoc upped lamictal can't start it yet because didn't get to pharmacy. I'm so overwhelmed and over this. I just want to fade out like the old black and white films. Nothing sudden but gradual so no one notices. Everything is too much. I fail. I need to just bow out of this play. I'm broken. I'm broken and there isn't a fix. I'll always be broken. It's too much to try to explain. Failure crash burn explode. I'm going to lay down so I don't do anything stupid.