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A few months ago I met this nice lady who was a meetup organizer. At first she seemed nice and sweet, but I soon found out that she had more issues that I realized at first. That is NOT the main issue of course. I knew that she had a lot of physical issues on top of being depressed. I could relate though, so we became friends.
Well, she'd complain quite a bit about how it's so hard to make friends here and that people here aren't as nice or caring as they were back east. She then claimed that ALL of her friends, including her best friend of 15 years dumped her once she got sick. She doesn't get along with one person in her family and she has been in an abusive relationship that she was reluctant to talk about before in her first marriage. She also almost got divorced to husband number 2, and it had to do with her being ill to some degree.
She also lost a child once to a miscarriage. She also couldn't connect with any of the other women in our group for long. I felt sorry for her since she seemed so sweet, and I've been in similar situations. Well, now I can see why she might be having so many personal issues. She kept on calling, emailing, and texting me constantly! She was super needy! She'd text me early in the morning, and I'm NOT a morning person at all!
She had such a strict schedule since she'd always going to the Drs. and she takes her meds in the afternoon, so she's supposedly asleep or busy when I'm ready to talk. She'd text me 4 or 5 times in a row sometimes when I was to busy to answer asking me if I'm still alive, etc...
Well, I told her many times to NOT text or call me at certain hours, but she kept on doing it at times! She did tell me that due to her illnesses, her short term memory is bad. So I cut her some slack. I finally made it clear once again even more directly that it's to expensive for me to text and that I don't like it. I said that I won't return anymore texts and that I'm sorry about that. I told her to call or email me instead. I was NOT being unreasonable at all!
She then told me that I'm "RUDE", that I'm "SELFISH" mostly, "UNKIND", not "SINCERE", and that it's no wonder that I couldn't fathom that she had "friendships" for 15 years with people who dumped her after she got sick. OK, really? I'm a nice, sincere, and caring person, so I didn't appreciate that. This woman would go on and on about herself and her various illnesses and bad luck with people and would barely even ask me how I was doing most of the time!
So I'm not to upset that she is no longer talking to me. Was I out of line in any way? I don't think that I was. She'd also always tell me we should hang out and then she'd forget about things or not follow through, but I didn't make a fuss over that. Ugh! It's like she expected me to always be there for her since I'm not as sick or needy! Even her assistant quit after awhile!
Was there anything that I could've done to set a more clear sense of boundaries? Did I do something wrong or was this woman expecting way to much from me? Not to be mean, but it sounds like she was on an endless pity party which is a drag!
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