It is frustrating that doctor's do not acknowledge that approximately 40 percent of those discontinuing benzos will experience the very common symptoms you have. If I recall, you went off cold turkey which, as a warning to all, regrettably can cause very uncomfortable withdrawals, sometimes protracted. IMO, I know how bad you're suffering, but you should be proud for hanging in there for 19 months and being benzo free. These uncomfortable symptoms will eventually cease, but should be a reminder to all who are discontinuing benzos to taper slowly! A slow taper typically is much more comfortable and will help one avoid going protracted. If you can't find a doctor to help. I've found most naturopaths or osteopaths are very supportive, comforting and knowledgable about benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, along with protracted withdrawals. Often, they offer sliding scales or very discounted rates. You are only 19 months out from being a long time user, as I recall, I suspect most Benzo wise docs wouldn't even consider you protracted yet. Miserable yuck yes and I "get it." IMO, for a cold turkey benzo withdrawal, you are doing well by hanging in there. Your symptoms will eventually stop, time is your friend, throw out the calendar. You've got awhile before you need to be worrying about protracted w/d IMO. Enjoy the windows, if you get them, you will get more and your body will feel better.