Hello Yismymindblank: You say, at the end of your post, you think how you feel about pain & being hurt is normal; & then you ask what other PC members think. My answer is I don't know. And it's not that I think there is no such thing as "normal", as many people say. I do think there is something called "normal". Granted it is a slippery concept & there are lots of potential pitfalls in trying to define it. Yet I do think that "normal" does, at least in some sense, exist.

My problem is I've never been normal. I can't remember a time in my life when I felt normal. I think people around me probably thought I was more-or-less normal. But, inside, I knew different. I was just reasonably good at keeping it all hidden. I still am. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just suddenly let it all hang out, as we used to say. But, since I've never experienced normal myself, I don't think I'm in a position to say whether or not what you experience is normal. Perhaps there are others here on PC who are better positioned to do so...