I'm not trying go all out on the normal part, I wanted to put that away to word it more clearly. I didn't know exactly what to say. Do a lot people do what I do I should say?

I really have this innate unhealthy habit of not really forming relationships with people and it's intentional most of the time, because I am not very talkative and when it comes to females who I "date". I want them to get bored of me, **** me like crazy and throw me away like trash.

I don't know what's wrong with me, because I really don't want what everyone is trying to force me into saying. You gotta wait to get laid, blah blah blah, you will lose moral value BS, I don't care! I seriously don't care, it bugs the **** out of me. It's like sex is a bad itch and self harm go hand in hand. I wish there was some way to shut this bodily function off forever, because I'm so not doing this anymore. I'm tired of punching myself in the head and using self harm as for sexual pleasure. It's like having a relationship is impossible for me, I wish I was a pretty girl, because I don't care what other females would think about me, I'd live my life much easier just letting me have more sex than I do as a guy. It doesn't matter as a gender stereotype. I'm just sick of being told how I should live my life, by others. I don't listen to them I disregard them all the time, and I'm unhappy, because I'm caged and everyone around me is out getting laid going to parties and pushing me away. I can't do anything, I'm stuck in a house a lot when I'm not at work. I can't drive, my interpersonal relationships are non existent in my mind maybe in theirs. It's like I feel all the time someone is never there. So what I do to fill that void, is masturbation, sex with whomever, self harm for sexual pleasure, and above all masochism emotional self defeating behaviors just to feel something. It's like a bad itch that won't go away. I wish my genitals weren't overly sensitve. I'm a guy for crying out loud not a female with this disorder, unless I'm ignorant to the fact this can happen to guys too. I mean I get painful boners not from fantasizing, but from fabrics on my clothes and it's not the lack of room it's like if I don't jack off. My body goes in so much pain after like 1 day. It's been like this since ever. It's like I can't get out of here my body is seriously hindering my life quality medically from my neuro problems recently and my sexual frustration and my oversensitivity of my junk. It's like after having sex for over 6 hours with my one ex who all of them were nymphs and had no off switch, that's all I can handle, because it's like after having sex whether good or bad. It's like it doesn't want to quit and it gets frustrating like my body can't relax and take in the natural body high it's like it's immune to it. I don't know what this is.