So I'm tossing in bed.....I see t tomorrow and I'm anxious....because tomorrow's the last day I can pay for therapy....I have paid out of pocket.....she does not accept any insurance...and seeing a t at the clinic is not an option for me....I walked in there one day and asked if they staff psychologists and they said no...only social workers....recent grads...all younger than me.....uh oh...that don't work for me......So here I am, paying this shrink full fee. The only way I can continue to see her is if she reduces the fee....but really reduce it. I pay now $150. $75 would still be difficult but doable. I don't know how to ask for it. Funny how I so easily dole out advice to others...but when I'm in a ditch....I don't know how to pull myself out of it....
I've begun seeing her about two months ago. I don't yet feel a strong connection, not much of a connection...and I've my doubts whether therapy will work with her....I don't feel the warmth.....I think to talk to her tomorrow about what it is I want from her....I feel like a pig wanting so much from her...fee reduction....warmth....I hate to be asking for so much from one person....I want to be self-sufficient.....I want to win the lottery so I can pay full fee and then I'd feel ok about asking for the emotional attunement I want....