Recently my dreams have been pretty weird, like very detailed and I often still confuse what happens in my dreams with something that has happened in real. It's minor details to big events and I find myself confused as to if it really did take place.

However, last night I had a series of dreams, going from a light pink scaled fish swimming in the air, seemingly having issues adapting to the oxygen, falling to the ground, gasping and eventually dying - to a dream about where I had these issues. I couldn't breathe.

I assume these dreams could linked to some underlying health issues. As I already have cancer, I doubt it's that which my mind is trying to tell me, I already know that.

Another thing is, I haven't at all dreamt about my ex at all even though I really want to, because my dreams are at least the only place where I can do whatever I want and be with whoever I want, it's a chaotic environment in which I'm in full control.

I still miss him and it still hurts, I still love him as much as ever and it feels like I'll never stop. But I know I need to keep moving on and perhaps my mind already has?