I have never really been an exceptionally nervous or fearful person. I had a lot of nightmares when I was a little kid about the typical monsters but they never lasted for more than a few weeks and they never really affected my life, short of a little bit of sleep deprivation.

A few years ago a friend of mine came to my house with the movie "Dawn of the Dead" and since then, I feel like I've been slowly losing my mind. My husband and I lived in a bachelor apartment where we had hung curtains around the room to act as walls. I couldn't sleep for those last few months we lived there. I literally laid in my bed staring at the opening in the curtains waiting for something to come in.

I know it sounds so ridiculous to be afraid of zombies. I know they're not real, I know they can't hurt me, but I can't make my mind believe it. I can't be relaxed in my house or car unless the doors are locked and the ground floor windows are closed. I hate being outside at night, I am constantly looking over my shoulder and scanning my surroundings. Even during the day when I'm outside with my daughter an unexpected movement or noise sends my heart racing. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I used to be able to manage fairly well. It doesn't affect my life any more than just being afraid to be exposed outside. But since my daughter was born, it's gotten to the point where I will literally lay in bed at night, making a plan as to what I will do when zombies attack my house. It sounds so stupid and I am so ashamed of myself for this, but there is just nothing I can do to make this go away.

I am afraid to talk to my family and friends about my phobia. I know how hard it can be to accept that someone could be terrified of something so irrational. I've casually mentioned it to my husband but he always chuckles and tells me I'm nuts.

I've lived with this secret for 3 years now. I've mentioned to people that I was afraid of zombies, but until I came across a website a few days ago that described someone else's intense fear of zombies with virtually identical symptoms, did I realize that I am suffering from a phobia. I feel a litle better knowing that my mind isn't completely irrational and that I have no control over this, but I still feel so stupid all the time, especially since this phobia doesn't officially exist.

I'm hoping that talking about my fear to those who can understand and sympathize with my situation will help me to be more comfortable in my own skin. I'm not sure what my next step is going to be. I don't know if I'm prepared to go to my doctor for help.

I am going to continue to do all the research I can and read some other experiences before I do anything.

Thanks for listening.