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You don't have too much longer to go until you meet the new pdoc.
You seem to barely be holding on as it is, and that's with the med. If taking the med isn't going well and you can't last until seeing the pdoc, then go to the ER. Don't just stop them cold-turkey, that's never a good idea and you seem to need the help!
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."
"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.
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