You didn't fail ... Your mother did ... Miserably!

This makes my heart hurt for you because I endured a lot of homophobic abuse from my family of origin too.

Hopefully you can find some safe supportive people to be around until you are old enough to leave home.

I do find it sad though that you've got to live in that type of environment until you are old enough to escape.

I hope you know that you are not a failure and that you are not going to hell and that you are perfectly okay exactly how you are.