Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankbtl
Hi ombretwilight, no you're not at all a sick, twisted, evil person 
Just because you failed in your attempts, just because you're now alive now..........doesn't just make the depression/the feelings go away. It can take more than that, a whole lot more than that.
And you know how ridiculous it is to tell someone with depression "you should be happy (or whatever!!) you're alive", don't you??
And for you maybe you're not seeing what happened as horrible in relation to her/him when you're feeling jealous, you're probably seeing it more as an "escape" (???) for you.
So...........are you getting any help with what you're going through?? Is there anyone you can talk (more??) to about how you're feeling/what's going on for you??
Because there can be so much more than the way you're feeling now with the right help/support, even if it's hard to believe right now.
And of course we're here for you in this too.
Alison |
Thanks a lot for your kind words
My friend has replied and it was a guy. I've heard of him but we have never spoken, and his suicide is definitely a tragedy especially since he did it on our graduation day (last Fri). Maybe he was stressed over our upcoming 'A' Levels in 2 weeks, but we'll never know. He's actually the 2nd student in my school to pass away after an 8th grader fell from his 11th floor apartment last month. It's been a bad year...
I used to see my school counsellor but we have terminated last Wed and I guess I am grieving about it in a way. You're right in that I see death as an escape for me but I've been getting better until this news. It was such a huge trigger. I'm not sure why, perhaps partially because I don't want to accept the fact that there are other people in my school also facing issues (even though I know there are).