And so far I have survived, even through a couple of attempts and a handful of hospitalizations, but it's such a struggle. I work full-time and try to pretend to a degree of normalcy but so much of my head is occupied with trying not to throw myself out my office window. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, I have friends, I have a supportive boyfriend. I am trying to do everything I can but there's so much I can't do. I just want the suicidal urges to stop. I want to have my life back free from this suffering.

Thanks for listening.