The decision to "cut your losses" is a very hard one to make . . . in relationships, as well as in financial dealings. This is especially true when there has been "a long history." We want so badly to recoup our investment. We've put in so much time and effort that it seems wrong to have to walk away. "I can't just leave, when I've put so much into trying to build something." So we hang in there just to lose a bigger hunk of our life on a losing proposition.

And there is no guarantee that, if we leave, life will give us something better . . . something more like what we want. The truth is that people who get into futile relationships tend to keep gravitating toward the same kind of partners. We know that about ourselves subconsciously, so we say, "What's the use! I'll just stay where I am and keep working on things. Might as well stick with the "devil I know."

To really change our unhappiness, we have to be willing to risk being truly alone. That can be awfully hard to face. It's human nature to want to be "with someone."