Hi,
I just recently realized that I have this disorder, well not completely recently, I always had the traits, but last friday I was on a second date with a guy that I liked, last minute he told me it's going to be double date, which I found odd since it's only our second date. then when i get there I find out that they're his friends who aren't dating and just happen to be a guy and a girl.

during this "double date" they were mostly kept speaking french, a language I don't speak. switching and translating every now and then. we finish our food and head to a bar, where it's apparently another friend's birthday and he kept ignoring me and hangging out with his friends in this mostly francophone bar (this is in montreal, where the city is mostly divided into anglophone and francophone areas). and at some point he comes up to me and tells me it doesn't seem like i'm having a good time, maybe I want to go home? so I asked him if he's asking me to leave, and in a polite way he confirms. I got upset because I was very busy this week and made the time to see him, while he now asks me to go home. and here's where my BPD shows : I told him in somewhat of high voice " I can't believe I f***ing wasted my night on you" and stormed out. I was drunk and exhausted (only had 5 hours of sleep in the last 2 days) I called my friend and was crying uncontrollably (I was very drunk) and caught a cab went home and kept having this high level of emotion, gave him two drunken calls that he didn't answer (for good reason). Next morning I text him an apology for what I said but also letting him know it's not okay to have taken me to a strictly french speaking event. he apologized as well but broke it off. I didn't object to his decision although it has highly upset me.

So because of this emotional instability, impulsivity and easy irritation I believe I have BPD. Who fights with someone they just met? granted I was drunk, but also shows that i was already emotionally invested at date #2. and the fact that i'm still upset about it 2 days later, a guy that i have just met last week is ridiculous. I'm 26 and these seem to be very immature reflexes. I also don't put myself out there and in constant fear of rejection. self-esteem issues, constantly bored although I'm super busy, paranoid, don't know what I want.

If you have read this (thank you!) would you agree it shows BPD traits and do you believe that CBT could help (if you have had experience on the matter)

Again, Thanks for reading
N