thank you so much for your support. it is a lot to me.
I thought it was just the right comment.
blackjack sounds as if I would like it a lot.

yesterday I was really bad. and I'm saying that having gone through months of severe depression before.
today started the same but now, in the evening I am slightly better and decided to write.
I couldn't do anything and was crying but mostly just like a miserable heavy stone that someone has thrown on my bed.

it is so funny how it can suddenly and profoundly make me see myself as the most horrible creature on earth and want myself to be gone just because of aversion!